Saturday, March 14, 2020

Mitigating Anxiety in the Time of the Coronavirus

Are you feeling the swirl of anxiety in and around you?  Everyone at my house is feeling it at varying levels of intensity.  It is everywhere online and in stores too.

I've lived most of my life with anxiety.  The intensity varies, but it's always with me.  Welcome to my world.  It is something you can get used to.  It is something you can manage.  It is something you can mitigate.  I wasn't born knowing any of this.  I had to learn it.  You can too.  I'm not an expert, just an experienced acquaintance of anxiety.  I hope maybe my thoughts on what has helped me will help someone else.

I'm seeing my immediate family members, especially my children, suffer increasing levels of anxiety.  I'm worried about all of them.  Anxiety is a sticky mess that wants to keep snowballing and suck everyone in. But it doesn't have to.  Here's how I'm mitigating it at my house.  I hope at least one idea here resonates with you.  Don't feel compelled to do it all.  This is an idea list, not a check list.

Meditation
Regular, daily mediation has been proven to help reduce anxiety.  I have personally experienced this effect and seen it work for my family members too.  I like to use the Calm app.   My husband uses Calm and Headspace  (He's a bit of a junkie).  He likes them both for different reasons.

Seeing the growing anxiety in my family as life gets less and less normal, I've decided to meditate with the kids every morning.  We might start doing it in the afternoon too.  Guided meditations with an app are simple.  They can be as short as 1 minute though I definitely find greater benefits from something at least 10 minutes long.  My kids have been practicing meditation with me intermittently for over a year.  They aren't perfectly still or even quiet while we meditate but they keep getting better at it.  And it really does help.

Talk About It
When I see signs of stress in my family members, I label it and try to get them talking about it.  For example after my son bolted out the door to go jump on the trampoline (as soon as he heard the Press Conference all about coronoavirus start yesterday), I made a mental note to talk to him when he came back inside.  When he came in I said, "Are you worried about coronavirus? "  He nodded.  I asked him if he had any questions and I can't remember what he said but we talked for a couple minutes.  I hugged him and reassured him as much as I could.  Mostly I listened.  It only lasted 2-3 minutes and then he went off to play legos.


Talking about it doesn't make it go away but it kinda does.  It dissipates the feeling and lessons it's power.  It allows you to let go of it.  Anxiety will come back at some point but knowing that it will also go away again makes it so much less threatening.

Routine
A huge part of what is so stressful right now is how unpredictable everything is.  The circumstances around us change every hour.  Nothing looks or feels normal.  Predictability is really important for human beings.  Variety can be fun but stability is critical.  We all had routines we were following without even thinking about it a week or 2 ago.  Now they've all disappeared.  Time for new routines.  My family is still figuring out our new routine.  I'll share it after we figure it out.  A routine will anchor everyone.  It will provide some much needed predictability.  It will give each member of your household purpose and something to do besides worry.   

Get outside and Move
Moving your body will reduce anxiety. This has been proven. Something as simple as a 5 minute walk will do it. We have a trampoline and my son uses it almost every day. I can see it reducing his anxiety.  A walk to the mailbox really helps me.  Family walks work for all of us.  My husband has been running outside everyday.  All three of my kids like to walk to the park, often.  All my family's ways to move also get us outside.  Spending time in nature has also been proven to reduce anxiety. 

Talk Therapy
I have benefited so many times in my life from talking with a licensed therapist.  I currently have a therapist I meet with online.  This is referred to as tele-health.  It can take some real effort to find a therapist that's available and a good fit.  It is worth the effort.  A couple of services I've heard of that exclusively offer therapy via tele-health are Better Help and Talk Space.  They are relatively inexpensive and I've heard good things about both.  I found my current counselor by calling and emailing around to different offices and asking for recommendations of therapists who offered tele-health counseling.  It took a month to find exactly what I was looking for. Worth. It.


Medication
I have a handful of very close family members and friends who swear by medication.  I have not yet felt the need for it but I think sometimes it is necessary and I wouldn't rule it out.

Supplements
Under the care of a Naturopathic Doctor, I have been taking health supplements that have made a real difference for me.  I have also watched a family member use a variety of supplements on the recommendations of other friends and family and end up in the ER with serious problems.  Supplements can be just as powerful and dangerous as medication.  Don't just take them because someone you know recommended them.  Do your own research and consult a professional (ND, MD, Herbalist etc.) before using supplements.

Things to Look Forward to
We all need hope.  This can be generated through spiritual practices and thought work.  I also find it helpful to plan some fun things into my routine and schedule for the week. It could be as simple as a good book to read at the end of the day, a family movie time every afternoon, dessert on Saturday night, a phone call with a good friend.  It could also be more elaborate and involved.  My siblings and I are coordinating a family book club online for our kids (the cousins) while everyone is out of school.  My family will be celebrating Easter over the next month and we will spend time preparing and celebrating here at home.

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