Back to Basics

Wow! The last 7 months of my life have been crazy wonderful. Our twins, Chloe and Liam are doing so great. Check out recent pics of them here. It is so fun to be the mother of 3 adorable, hilarious, sweet, lovable, and always-changing children. And, obviously it is time consuming and hard work. But I've dreamed of being this kind of busy for a long time. I'm trying to soak it up and enjoy every minute and remember that before I know it my little ones will be grown up and I'll be wishing for these days again. Somehow I manage to read tons but that's about all I do besides taking care of children and very basic, not-quite-adequate housekeeping. Maybe today is the day the bathroom will actually get done...

Isabel turns 6 in October and this would be the year she would enroll in Public School if we weren't homeschooling. With all our family changes a lot of people have asked if I will still be able to homeschool my kids. I know most people think it gets harder with more kids but I can now say with a few months worth of experience, that at least for now, it is easier. If I were doing a K-12 program that looked like public school then yeah, it might be impossible to do but when your engaged in Leadership Education, having a family with lots of kids makes it so much better. One of the principles of this philosophy is "Inspire not Require." That's where most of my energy goes - finding new ways to inpsire Isabel. Having the twins has inspired her to do lots of new things.

One example is reading. She loves to be read to and sometimes shows a desire to read herself but "reading" (what beginning readers do using a combination of sight reading, phonics, contextual clues, and guessing) to Mom is like a test and feels pointless. Mom already knows what the words on the page say and she'll know if you read it wrong--she doesn't need you to read to her. But "reading" to your little brother and sister is exciting! They certainly can't read for themselves and are excited to have your attention. Plus, they don't know if you read it right or wrong. You get to be the big, knowledgeable person while you practice things you are learning. Isabel has made a lot of progress in her reading lately and I know it's because she's been inspired by the presence of her baby brother and sister.

We've also had some success restructuring our morning routine. We have to schedule ourselves around the babies eating and napping times. This has forced us to be a little more structured and gives a nice flow to our day. All 3 of my kids are in core phase. In core phase we focus on teaching them good/bad, right/wrong, true/false, work, family relationships, and responsiblity. So our day is structured to facilitate this. I get up before all the kids to exercise and shower. Then I feed babies while Isabel gets her own breakfast, showers, and gets dressed. Having the babies has given her the motivation and opportunity to learn more skills and become more independent. While the babies play we start our morning chores together: dishes and kitchen clean-up, make the beds, pick-up bedrooms and livingroom, vacuum and laundry. If we did a good job the day before and didn't leave a lot of messes for ourselves, the morning cleanup only takes 30-45 minutes. After the twins have played for 20-40 minutes they are ready for a nap.

When our chores are done we use the rest of naptime for school time. That is, we do whatever Isabel is inspired to do. Usually we cuddle up in the chaise lounge with a novel and read for an hour or more. Other things we do are read library and picture books, do art projects, bake in the kitchen, work in the garden, listen to music, dance, and play games. I try to keep a running list in my head all week of things Isabel has expressed an interest in and then we use our morning time to do things from the list. I'm always putting things on hold at the library and once a week Kelly or I pick up the latest stack of books. I try to bring in resources and materials in response to Isabel's interests. I don't make her do anything during school time, I just respond to her needs and interests. Over the past few weeks we've learned about microbes, ants, gardening, Beethoven, and poetry; read the scriptures, dozens of fairytales, a handful of novels, and stacks of pictures books; baked different kinds of bread and muffins; planted and maintained a square foot garden (with some major help from our friends Rachel and Jason - thank you!);

and turned Isabel's bedroom into a gallery of her paintings.

This is how she learns the core phase lessons of good/bad, right/wrong, true/false, work, family relationships, and responsibility.

Before the babies wake up we try to eat lunch. If we don't stop in time, Isabel makes a sandwich for herself. Then she runs outside to play on nice days or finds something to do inside. I read to myself whenever I'm nursing. During the twins second nap I do whatever I can from my to-do list in 90 minutes. Then I feed them again. By now it's 5pm and time to get dinner ready, pickup the house and get ready for Daddy to come home. Isabel helps with dinner and pick-up. We eat dinner at about 6 or 6:30. We all do the dishes together. At 7:30 or so, the twins eat again while I read the family novel-du-jour to Kelly and Isabel. Right now it's Charlotte's Web. Then Kelly tucks Isabel into bed. At about 8:30 or 9 we put the twins to bed and then it's our time to read, talk, do whatever. Last night we started reading "Carry on Mr. Bowditch" together. I love reading with Kelly.

And, that's what an ideal day looks like at our house. On a good week, 3 or 4 of our days looks like this. On a bad week maybe only 1 does. Having 10-15 ideal days in a month is success in my book.

How to be Inspired Instead of Overwhelmed

I wrote this essay for my bookclub meeting. We just read Walden by Thoreau.

Many of us are pursuing less-traveled roads. Once you start down one of these paths you quickly become aware of dozens of other unconventional approaches to life. Soon you are discovering 10-20 new ideas each week. The advocates for all these great ideas are passionate, knowledgeable and inspiring. You can start to feel like you’ve got to adopt every great new idea you learn about. But you can’t and you know it so you start to feel overwhelmed. You question your ability to live any of these great ideas and maybe you even chicken out and go back to the conventional life where you didn’t feel so much pressure and uncertainty.

Don’t let this be you! Learn how to evaluate all these ideas, say no to the ones you don’t need, maybe later to the ones you don’t need now and yes to things you really should be doing.

1. Be skeptical – As you evaluate any new idea remind yourself that just because your best friend thinks it’s wonderful or because you got excited when you first heard about it doesn’t mean it is something you should incorporate into your life. It is good to say no to most things. Statesmen who change to world don’t do everything – they do a few things really well.

2. Measure everything against your core book or core beliefs. If it doesn’t support and harmonize with your core book, it’s not for you.

3. If you are still interested in the idea, decide which category to put it in. I like to bucket ideas into three categories.

a. Maybe someday, but definitely not now – it’s helpful to make a physical list for these and keep it handy. Someday when you are feeling bored and uninspired you can look at this list and see if anything jumps out at you.

b. Explore in the next year – add this to your annual planning list and next time you sit down to plan you can begin to work this new idea into your plan following the guidelines in step 4.

c. Something so earth shattering and valuable I need to drop everything and get on this band wagon now – Proceed to step 4.

4. Start learning as much as you can about this new idea. Search out every book, lecture, seminar, or other resource that can teach you about this idea. Find and talk to real live people who are living it. You’ve get to learn about it in depth before you decide to let it change your life. If it’s a small idea you won’t need to go far with your research but if it is life changing you really need to go deep. Read and re-read the best sources of information you can find on the idea. Try to learn the main principles so well you could teach it to someone else. Marinate in the idea for a few months and even attempt to live it a little. If at any time in this process you learn that the idea does not support your core book or you decide it just isn’t right for you, abandon it. If you’ve made a mistake and this really should be part of your life, the idea will resurface when you are ready for it.

5. Once you’ve studied the idea deeply and decided it’s definitely for you, take it to your Higher Power. Pray, meditate or do whatever you do to get answers. Seek for confirmation that this life changing idea is something you should incorporate into your life. Don’t move forward until you get this confirmation. Once you get a confirmation, don’t look back. If you never get a confirmation pray for understanding and guidance – maybe this idea was just meant to open your eyes and prepare you for an even better idea.

6. If this big idea will affect your whole family, now is the time to take it to your husband. Pray about how to do this most effectively. You know your husband best. You can predict how he will react to just about anything you do – run through a few scenarios in your mind before you decide how to best share this new idea. Read Esther’s story in the Bible for some inspiration. Remember to trust his judgment and respect his position in your family. Go to him with a true desire to work with him to evaluate the idea and decide if, how, and when to implement this with your family. This process may take a long time. If he asks challenging questions go find really good answers for him. Show him that you really value his opinion. Keep coming back to him until he has convinced you it’s not a good idea or you have convinced him it is a good idea. Be open to both options.

7. Make a plan with your husband for how to implement the idea and go for it.

I have twins!

My husband and I found out about a week and a half ago that we are adopting twin babies. It's crazy but wonderful situation. You can read about it on this blog http://jarrettfamilyadventure.blogspot.com/ that my Aunt is managing for us. Due to a sudden lack of time I won't be posting a whole lot on Mavenhood for awhile. Maybe in a few months when we bring our babies home and I get the mother of twins thing figured out...I'm sure some of you are laughing now:)

All Things Pumpkin

I love pumpkin.

In addition to pumpkin pie, for Thanksgiving I make pumpkin biscuits and serve them with cranberry butter. I think Isabel lived on these for a couple of days.

Pumpkin Biscuits (Adapted from a Martha Stewart recipe)
12 tbls unsalted butter
4 c flour
2 tbls baking powder
1 tsp baking soda
1 ½ tsp salt
6 tbls brown sugar
pinch of ginger
2 c cooked pumpkin
1 ½ c buttermilk

Preheat oven to 400. Melt butter in small bowl. In medium bowl combine flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt, brown sugar, and ginger. Cut in butter. Make a well in the center, and add pumpkin with a fork. Stir in buttermilk till dough comes together. Dust dough with flour and knead 8 times. Pat dough out and cut biscuits. Brush tops with butter and bake until golden brown, 15 – 18 minutes.

Cranberry Butter (from Martha Stewart)
1c cranberry sauce
1 c butter

Blend in food processor until smooth

Last weekend we went to the University District farmers market (it’s open all year!) and Isabel just had to have a pumpkin. So I hunted up a few more pumpkin recipes and we’ve tried them over the last two days. 1 pumpkin goes a long way…

Pumpkin Risotto (adapted from a Sweet Potato Risotto recipe in Real Simple magazine)

2 T olive oil
½ c onion finely chopped
Salt and pepper to taste
1 pound of uncooked, peeled pumpkin, cut into ¼ inch pieces
2 cloves of garlic
1 c rice (I used par-boiled brown rice that cook’s in 20-30 minutes)
2 c chicken broth
½ c grated Parmesan (I’m sure I used more than this)
5 leaves of fresh sage, finely chopped

Heat the oil in a large saucepan over medium heat. Add the onion, ½ t salt, and ¼ t pepper. Cook, stirring occasionally, until soft, 4 to 6 minutes. Add the pumpkin and garlic, and cook, stirring occasionally, for 2 minutes. Add the rice and cook, stirring for 2 minutes. Add the broth and cook, stirring frequently, until absorbed. Measure 3 ½ c water. Add ¾ c at a time and cook, stirring occasionally and waiting until each addition is absorbed before adding the next. It should take 25 – 30 minutes for all the water to be absorbed (It took me more water, probably because my rice was brown). Check that the rice is tender, if not add more water and cook longer. Stir in parmesan and sage.

Isabel and I loved this for dinner last night. Great comfort food. I will definitely make it again.

Toasted Pumpkin seeds

Handful or more of pumpkin seeds
1 T olive oil
Salt to taste

In a small non-stick skillet heat oil over medium heat. Add pumpkin seeds and toast stirring constantly. When the seeds puff and turn golden brown remove from heat. Sprinkle with salt to taste.

These were so satisfying to crunch and they hit that salty snack craving perfectly.

Pumpkin Blender Wheat Waffles (My friend Christina shared this recipe with me. She got it here.)
1 Cup Milk (3 T. Powdered Milk and 1 C. Water)1 Cup + 2 Tbs Wheat Kernels, whole & uncooked2 Eggs (2 T. Powdered Eggs and 1/4 C. Water)2 tsp. Baking Powder1/2 tsp. Salt1/4 Cup Oil
1/2 Cup Pureed, Cooked Pumpkin
1-1/2 t. Pumpkin Pie Spice2 Tbs. Sugar

Put milk and wheat kernels in blender. Blend on highest speed for 4 or 5 minutes or until batter is smooth. Add eggs, oil, baking powder, salt, pumpkin, pumpkin pie spice and honey or sugar to above batter. Blend on low. Pour batter into hot prepared waffle iron from the actual blender jar (only one thing to wash!)
For a yummy variation, put chopped pecans on the top of the batter in the waffle iron before closing.

There was a recipe with this for caramel syrup but we loved it with plain old maple syrup. This was so easy to make and they were some of the best waffles I’ve ever had. Can’t wait to make them again!

I haven’t tried this recipe yet but it sounds amazing and the reviews were great. I bet the candied pumpkin seeds alone will be worth it.

Warm Pumpkin Salad with Polenta and Candied Pumpkin Seeds

Comfort Salad

I love comfort food. Relying on food to soothe or enhance my emotions is one of my ongoing struggles. I hope to someday conquer it. In the meantime I try to find healthy recipes that feel like comfort food to me.

Avocado Tomato Salad is one of my current favorites. The avocado is creamy, the tomato, lime juice, and salt make it super-flavorful, and it totally satisfies me. I also love knowing that the avocado and tomato have tons of disease-preventing nutrients and heart-healthy fat. You could serve this over a bed of greens for a bigger salad.

Avocado Tomato Salad (Makes 1 lunch-size serving)
1 tomato
1 avocado
EVOO
Lime Juice
Salt

1. Dice the tomato and avocado and combine in a bowl
2. Drizzle with EVOO
3. Add lime Juice and Salt to taste. Start with just a little of each and keep adding until it tastes just right.

Green Smoothies

I absolutely refuse to be sick this Christmas. I have spent too many Holiday seasons with a cold or the flu and last year was the worst. I came down with a make-you-want-to-die version of the flu on Christmas Day and the next 10 days were terrible. I missed out on many family plans, including Christmas Dinner and instead of enjoying time with my husband off from work, I barely remember it. I know he was thrilled with the experience too.

I’m one of those people who believe that good nutrition, good sleep, and exercise can solve a majority of health problems. I’ve experienced it myself and I know it works. So this year I’m going to do everything in my power to stay healthy and prevent illness. The problem is, it’s hard to eat really healthy all the time and it’s especially hard during the holidays. I struggle most with getting enough greens and veggies in. I recently discovered a shortcut: Green Smoothies. My friend Rachel introduced me to the concept. Thanks Rach!

A Green Smoothie is packed with disease preventing nutrients, yet it’s much easier to eat than a plate of salad or vegetables and especially useful when you’re in a hurry. It takes 5 minutes to make and about 10 minutes to eat. After I drink two glassfuls, I feel really satisfied and my energy level goes way up for the rest of the day. It also minimizes my desire for less healthy options. I’m betting that this year, if I eat at least one green smoothie a day, I will avoid the dreaded Christmas cold or flu.

So what’s in a green smoothie you ask? You can make a Green Smoothie with any combination of fruits, leafy greens, and water that can be pureed in a blender. It sounds weird, I know, but it really does taste good. Some versions actually look green while my favorite version looks dark purple. I shared my pitcher of green smoothie today with my daughter and her 3 visiting friends.

Their faces tell the story--they loved it.


















My Favorite Green Smoothie

3 bananas
2 satsumas, mandarins, or tangerines
4-6 cups of spinach
2 cups of frozen berries (blackberries, blueberries, and raspberries)
Enough water to make it a smoothie

1. Puree bananas, oranges and some water
2. Add spinach a handful at a time, puree and add more until you’ve added it all. Add water as needed
3. Add frozen berries a handful at a time until pureed. Add more water as needed.
4. Serve it up and enjoy. This makes 7-8 cups.

Pieta and Motherhood

I was first exposed to Michelangelo’s Pieta when I read My Name is Asher Lev by Chaim Potok. The story’s protagonist, Asher Lev, is drawn to and studies various Pieta sculptures, including this one. The first time I saw a picture of this Pieta, I was stunned by the beauty of the work. The word “pieta” is Italian for “piety”. Piety is often thought of as an insincere show of religious devotion but the true meaning of the word is reverence for God or devout fulfillment of religious obligations. As I’ve continued to study Michelangelo’s Pieta, I have come to see it as a symbol of motherhood and the many types of suffering associated with motherhood. There are many Pieta paintings and sculptures that attempt to depict the suffering of Mary as she holds the dead body of her son, but most of them depict suffering as grotesque and terrible. For me, only this Pieta captures the beauty inherent in this kind of suffering.

Though the suffering of Christ was a result of evil and destructive forces, God consecrated it, making it productive and purpose-filled. For the atonement to have the power of redeeming men from sin, Christ had to allow himself to be sacrificed. He didn’t want to but He knew it was necessary and submitted His will to the Father’s. As Christ said, “O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt.” Christ’s willing submission made all the difference.

Suffering can become a gateway to the greatest blessings the Father has to offer us. As C.S. Lewis wrote in his essay A Slip of the Tongue, “For it is not so much of our time and so much of our attention that God demands; it is not even all our time and all our attention; it is ourselves...For He has, in the last resort, nothing to give us but Himself; and He can give that only insofar as our self-affirming will retires and makes room for Him in our souls.” Lewis continues, “For He claims all, because He is love and must bless. He cannot bless us unless He has us.” That is where this kind of suffering can lead us. Michelangelo’s Pieta embodies this truth.

I relate to this piece of art on a personal level. In my own small way, I know about this kind of suffering. I spent several long years desperately trying to become a mother and ultimately learning that my husband and I could not have children biologically. It wasn’t until I accepted this truth and learned to live with it that we were finally able to become parents through adoption.

When I look at Michelangelo’s Pieta, I see an expression of my personal experience with suffering and submitting to God’s will. Though Mary holds her son’s body, her arms are really empty. He is not there. His spirit is gone. I remember the ache I felt in my arms, longing to hold a baby of my own.

Mary though in the midst of her greatest suffering appears young, beautiful and God-like. She has been transformed by the experience. The agony I felt seemed unbearable but I survived it and it transformed me. Mary contemplates her son with a pained but peaceful expression. Her left hand questions “why” while the rest of her body rests calmly and submissively in acceptance of God’s will. I remember asking why and learning to be content with the answer, “Someday you will understand. For now, accept it as my will.”

This moment is for Mary the ultimate fulfillment of the commitment she made years before, “Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word.” I loved that scripture as a young woman and had a picture of Mary talking to the angel, hanging in my bedroom. I thought of Mary as the quintessential mother and wanted to be like her when I grew up. I knew that God wanted me to be a mother someday and that motherhood would be my greatest work on earth. I did not understand then what I would go through to fulfill that commitment.

Mary gently cradles her full grown son as if to say, there are no limits on the depth and breadth of a mother’s love. It is eternal. That is how I feel about my daughter. It doesn’t matter that we are not biologically connected. I am her mother therefore my love for her is boundless. Mary doesn’t cling to Christ with desperation or possessiveness as many mothers would in this moment. She is fully present and feels the pain and anguish deeply, but she possesses such self-mastery that she is able to simultaneously accept this as God’s will. This reminds me of the peace and hope that came when I finally accepted God’s will for my family. I still felt the pain but somehow I could bear it.

The hard, permanent, stone of the sculpture is much like Mary’s quite determination. She is not looking for an escape or distraction — she will remain in this painful moment until God will’s it otherwise. I did not know how long I would wait to become a mother but I accepted that it would be on God’s timetable and learned to wait patiently.

For me, the great weight of Mary’s robes folding and piling up around her symbolize the weight of all she bears. Now that I am a mother, I have discovered a range of new fears and pains and I see them in Mary’s suffering too. There is the constant worry that I will fail as a mother. There is the fear that my precious child will die before I do. There is the agony of watching my daughter suffer. There is the knowledge that I cannot make her choices for her and the fear that she will reject the things I’ve taught her about good and bad, right and wrong, true and false. All these are the burdens of motherhood and there is something in Mary’s countenance that tells me she knows these too.