Separation Hurts

This Easter Sunday under quarantine has me thinking a lot. Fair warning, I am about to share some of my personal religious beliefs. I totally recognize that not everyone agrees with me and I respect the right of each individual to believe as they do. But, I think maybe some of you are feeling the way I am today and I want to share.

Most years, I spend weeks with my family preparing for and celebrating Easter.  We have a lot of traditions.  Many of them have come from the book Celebrating a Christ-Centered Easter by Emily Belle Freemen. Great book. I recommend it. But this year things are different. My family's schedule is busier than ever.  Lots of online meetings and classes, and I'm spending a lot more time cooking and cleaning.

And I feel lost in time.  Know what I mean?  I saw a meme today that says, 2020 is a unique Leap Year.  It has 29 days in February, 300 days in March and 5 years in April.  Yup, sounds about right.  So Easter kinda snuck up on me.  And now, a month in to quarantine, I'm really feeling a desire to see some people beyond the ones I live with.

This morning, our church congregation's choir surprised our congregation with a virtual choir performance.  It was amazing.  I don't know how they pulled it off - I suspect it involved a lot of technical know-how and time.  Our choir is always amazing - not hyperbole, it's truly the best local church choir I've ever seen - but what they did today was just beyond.  My 16 year-old daughter was one of the singers.  I heard her recording her part last week in the bathroom with her cell phone.  I think most of the singers recorded themselves in a similar fashion.  I don't know how someone turned all that into this but they must be a wizard.  Just incredible.  

It really looked and sounded like our choir was all together and performing for us in person.  It was a feast for my hungry soul.  Tears rolled down my cheeks while I watched it.  All those people who I know and love and wish that I could be with.  Singing such beautiful, soothing words.  I realized then, just how hard it is to be separated from people.  Thank goodness I have my family here at home with me.  But it's not enough. It is painful to be separated from everyone else. I've gotten used to it and it won't kill me, but today I was reminded that it's not the way it's supposed to be, and it hurts. 

Then it occurred to me that I have long been separated from my Heavenly Father. I've gotten used to it, but it's not the way it's supposed to be, and it hurts. And that's what Easter is all about. Christ came, atoned for us and rose again so that all the separations could end - so that we could all be reunited with God and any other loved ones we have been separated from.  Today, I really get it.

If you didn't catch the link above go here to watch the virtual choir performance.  So good.  Happy Easter!

Making Sense of it All in the Time of Coronavirus

We are living in a period of history right now that will be studied and discussed for generations after us. I've been telling all the youth I know that they are the Anne Frank's of this generation. Someday people will want to understand what it was like to grow up during The Time of Coronavirus and they will turn to our children for that knowledge.  

It's too much to really grasp or make sense of. We don't even know exactly what it is we are experiencing. It's a very disorienting experience.

It started out a lot of talk and fears about a pandemic that might happen. Then we were told the pandemic was happening. A few big events were cancelled. Schools started closing, public libraries closed. We were told it would last a couple weeks. Church was cancelled. Then it was extended for a month.  Non-essential businesses were closed. Amazon stopped delivering everything in 2 days. Now the shutdown has been extended for another month. It's different depending on where in the world you live. My perspective and experience are pretty limited to my little corner of the world in the Seattle area. Some places have experienced earthquakes and other natural disasters on top of everything being shut down. We know this is not going to be a little short term blip. We are in it for the long haul. What does that mean? How long will it be?

Those on the front lines - healthcare workers, those who are ill, family of the ill and dying and the millions of families who have lost their income - are having an even more intense experience. I think most of us fear joining their ranks at some point. This thing is coming for us all. Our health, our economic well-being, or both, will be impacted.

We are living out the story and we have no idea yet how it will turn out. How will good overcome evil? Who will survive and who won't?  How will the world be different after the dust settles? When will this be over? What will our new normal be? So many questions. So many theories. So many unknowns.

And those of us who aren't on the front lines yet have this sense of dread and foreboding. We can feel that things have changed yet so much of our lives is still the same. Our health and economic well-being have yet to be impacted. Our families are fine. We are working, home schooling, making and eating meals, and watching a lot of Netflix. Nothing is really wrong. But we sense that something is terribly wrong. And suddenly we are crying. What is happening?!

This week I've struggled with depression. From talking to friends and family, I have the impression lots of people are in this place right now. We are not even sure what we are experiencing but we know it's going to go on for awhile. And it's bringing up a lot of emotion. We don't know how to make sense of it. If you are feeling this, you are not alone. It's normal for you to feel this way. It's hard. It's not fun.

There's so much we don't know right now. But here's something I do know: We were made for this. 

I believe we are all here on earth at this time and in the place we are at for a reason. I believe we each have work to do and a unique way to make the world a better place. Some call this contribution and purpose a personal mission. I think everyone has one. And apparently, we were supposed to prepare for and/or fulfill our personal missions in The Time of Coronavirus.

So rather than wondering about all the unknowns, I'm trying to remind myself I was made for this. I've got what it takes to prepare for and fulfill my personal mission in life. While the world looks very different than I imagined it would and I have no idea when things will stabilize, I know this is how it was supposed to be.

I've heard this advice from numerous sources I trust and I'm trying to follow it;
Focus on the here and now.  
Do what needs doing right now. 
Watch for opportunities to prepare for or fulfill your personal mission, right now. 

Feeding a Family in The Time of Coronavirus

My son and I both struggle with asthma which places us both in the "underlying health conditions " category of people that need to be extra careful not to get coronavirus.  So we are really staying away from people and public spaces.  At this point our entire country is being strongly encouraged to do the same.  My family is even staying away from grocery stores as much as possible.

Thanks to all the food storage we have been purchasing and using for a few years now, it is not hard for us to stay away from the grocery store.  For years now, I have been a regular customer of Thrive Life.  I've had a shipment of freeze dried meat, vegetables, fruits, grains, or legumes come automatically, every month.  It's high quality food that I have been using in my regular meal prep for years.  So now that I need to rely on it, it's no big deal.  My family hasn't even noticed the change.

For recipes that require meat or vegetables, I just substitute the freeze dried version and add a little more liquid.  All the meals we've made with our freeze dried food have been delicious.  No one here is suffering and they haven't even noticed.

I find some big advantages to using Thrive Life freeze dried foods.  Here's where I begin promoting them.  Not trying to hide that.  But my motivation is to help people.  I truly find these products helpful and I think you might too. I am technically a consultant with this company and if you want to, you can order things from my consultant website but that is not why I'm sharing this today. You can also talk to your friend who is a consultant or just go to www.thrivelife.com. If you want to get on monthly deliveries, which I recommend, go here.

Here are the things I love about Thrive Life foods

1. High quality, pesticide free.  Tasty and healthy.
2. No washing, peeling, defrosting, chopping or other prepping. 
3. Super-fast to cook with.  Last minute meal prep is the standard. And I don't need to devote hours to meal prep, just a few minutes.
4. Even if I can't get to the store, like now, I can cook with meat and vegetables.  We aren't limited to rice and beans.  (Although we're big fans of rice and beans here).
5. IMHO freeze dried foods and Instant Pots were made for each other.  The steam of the Instant Pot ensures that the food is fully rehydrated.  When I cook in the Instant Pot, every last corner of the food is fully hydrated.  My family is picky.  They wouldn't eat it, if it wasn't good.  The Instant Pot is a miracle all on it's own.  It cooks food so fast!  It makes food delicious!  Put freeze dried food in it and it goes even faster with equally tasty results.  It just couldn't be faster or easier to cook dinner. 

Here is a recipe I adapted with help from my Thrive Life consultant, Debbie Abbot.  I hope this gives you an idea of how to adapt some of your favorite recipes so you can use freeze dried foods with an Instant Pot to make amazing food with food storage.

Dairy-Free Instant Pot “Butter” Chicken
(using freeze dried ingredients)

You can substitute butter and cream for the coconut oil and coconut cream but this recipe really is so good as written. And coconut products are more food-storage friendly. This recipe serves 6-8 people. If your family is small, you could halve this recipe but the leftovers are really good. I say just make it all and get two or more meals out of it!

1. Combine in the IP

• 3 cups tomato dices (freeze-dried or canned)
• 3cups chicken (freeze-dried)
• ½ t ginger powder
• 2 t turmeric
• 1 t cayenne pepper
• 2 t smoked paprika
• 2 t salt
• 2 t garam masala seasoning
• 2 t cumin
• 4 ½ c water (or chicken broth)

2. Put in an Instant Pot Steamer insert like this one (I divide these ingredients between the two parts of the insert. You could also make the rice separately on the stove or in a rice cooker.)

• 4 c rice
• 6 c water or chicken broth
• 2 t salt (if using water)
• 2 T coconut oil (if using water)

3. Set the IP steamer insert in the IP on top of all the other ingredients. Close the IP valve and turn the IP on manual for 15 minutes (It would probably work in as little as 8 minutes but I’m not usually in THAT big a rush and to ensure the rice is totally cooked, I do 15 minutes.

When the IP is done cooking, open the valve for a quick release of the pressure. When the pressure has completely released, remove the IP lid, using an oven mit, lift out the IP steamer insert and check that rice is perfectly steamed. If you have forgotten to put the sealing ring in or something (who would do that?! oh wait, me 😝) and found that things weren’t done cooking, just fix the problem, put the insert back in, put the IP lid back on and set it on manual for another 5-10 minutes. Once the rice is done, the chicken will definitely be done. Take out the IP steamer insert. Stir in the following until all combined.

• 2 t garam masala seasoning
• ½ c freeze-dried cilantro or ¼ c typical dried cilantro
• 1 c coconut oil
• 1 c coconut cream
• Serve the chicken over the rice. Enjoy!

I hope that inspires you to try cooking with freeze-dried foods and maybe even adapt some of your favorite recipes.  Really, all you do is forget all the prep time and add liquid.

If you haven't already,  I highly recommend that you sign up for monthly deliveries from Thrive.  So worth it!  Because this food is useful all the time, not just in a time of crisis, it makes sense to me to buy it regularly.  And then, when there is a crisis, you have more than enough to see you through it and you know how to use it - it really isn't complicated.  I don't know about you but I'm getting the impression this pandemic is going to drag on for awhile and I suspect, even when it is past, we will see more disruptions to life as we knew it.   I think we are finding a new normal.

If you are interested in the business opportunity (which I hear is going quite well right now) talk to my consultant, Debbie Abbott.  

1 Million Pages Goal

Any of you out there struggling with the not knowing how long this isolation and interruption of normal life will last?  My family definitely is.

There are lots of ways we are coping with this.  We all need things to do and things to look forward to.  An opportunity came up for us at the end of the week.  My twins are in an online class with our homeschool co-op and this week in class, the students made a goal to collectively read 1 million pages in the next 8 weeks.  There are about 10 students in the class.  Do the math.  That's probably not possible for 10 middle-grade students (or any 10 people) to do in 8 weeks.  Recognizing this, but not wanting to discourage this reading enthusiasm, the teacher decided to invite all the families of LEAF to participate along with these students and contribute to their goal.  Between all of us (There are nearly 100 of us), we have a chance of pulling it off.  Especially since we all have so much time to read.

It's exciting to have a big goal to work on now!  And getting lost in stories is such a healthy escape from all the anxiety of the moment.  Working on this big goal together will help us all become better readers, help us feel connected to each other, give us something to think about besides the current crisis, give us all something worthwhile to do, and ultimately, it will be fun!

Is there a big goal you've thought about doing but not found the time for yet?  This is the time!  Nothing is too big to consider.  Obviously there are some limits related to the current crisis (probably not the time to tour all 50 states) but there is sooooo much we can do right now.  What will you do with this opportunity?

Token System

Let me just preface this post with the following.  I'm about to share some really detailed, specific information.  This is not for everyone.  I definitely don't think everyone needs or wants this.  But for some of you it might be really, really helpful.  I have found it so.  That's why I'm sharing it.

My son is on the high functioning end of the Autism Spectrum, has severe ADHD, and has learning disabilities.  His twin sister has pretty severe ADHD and learning disabilities.  Parenting and teaching these kids is not easy.  Let's be honest, parenting and teaching any child is not easy.  Period.  Several of my kids therapists have recommended a token system to help things go better.  My family has really benefited from using a token system.  It is a scientific, research-based method for helping kids gain skills and change their behavior.

I am not a professional. I'm probably making all kinds of mistakes.  Even so, this is really working for us. I am going to share how my family uses a Token System in hopes that maybe someone else could benefit from it too.

Ultimately a token system is pretty simple. You need 3 things.

1. A list of behaviors you want to see from your kids. When they do these things, they earn tokens.
2. A list of privileges and stuff kids can spend their tokens on.
3.  Tokens. Some students, especially older students will benefit from a virtual points system and don't require physical tokens but younger students and especially those with neuro-atypical brains will do best using concrete, physical tokens.


List of Desired Behaviors
Here's my list.  Yours will be different.

• Take a shower
• Comb or refresh your hair
• Lotion your arms and legs
• Wipe clean the bathroom toilet and floor
• Clean the bathroom mirror, sink, and counter
• Clean your bedroom
• Take your supplements 
• Take your medication
• Go around the house and pick up all your stuff
• Help make breakfast
• Sit at the table for the entire meal
• Keep your hands and feet to yourself for the entire meal
• Come to school time when called, without any toys
• Do a meditation
• Write a school plan for the day
• Complete your school plan for the day
• Practice violin or viola
• Practice dance
• Help make lunch
• Do a chore
• Get pajamas on
• Brush your teeth
• Participate in SSR

All these things earn tokens for my twins at our house. But they don't get tokens for all the same things. Sitting still at meals is hard for one of them. That child earns tokens when they do it, but not the other child. One of them struggles not to leave a trail of possessions around the house. That child earns tokens when they pick up all their stuff, but not the other child. Most things on the list earn 1 token but some things that are extra difficult and/or are things I want to promote especially, earn 2 or 3 tokens.

When first introducing a token system, it might work better to keep the list of desired behaviors small - like 5 things.  It would be ideal for kids to be maxing out the list and asking for more ways to earn tokens. Sometimes it's hard to think small. Think of one behavior you'd really like to see. Imagine how awesome it would be see that one thing change. You're more likely to see it change if you don't put it on a list with 30 other behaviors.

It's also critical that you focus on behavior you want, not on behavior you don't want. Otherwise you will be promoting what you don't want. If I say don't think of a pink banana, what do you think of? Difficult to think of anything else and so you fail. If however I say, think of a purple frog, you can do that, right?  At meal times, one of my children tends to touch, kick, hit, and bug others at the table.  So we ask that child to keep their hands and feet to themselves rather than focusing on what we don't want them to do.

For the record, I haven't figured any of this stuff out myself. It was all taught to me by my kids therapists.

List of Privileges and Stuff to Earn
It is important all privileges (things you would not consider fundamental needs) be earned.  If it's only nice-to-haves that they must earn, most kids won't be motivated to earn them.  A good way to differentiate between fundamental needs and wants is to ask, will I go crazy if they don't earn X?  At our house, trampoline time is a fundamental need.

Kids should spend the majority of their tokens every day on stuff they really want.  They can save a small portion for a bigger item if they want to.

These are things my kids can spend their tokens on

• 1 playmobil piece or lego piece from a set (they earn 1 piece of a set at a time, in the order the pieces are listed/shown in the instructions)
• Watch an episode of educational TV
• Watch an episode of TV
• Look on amazon (for stuff they want to earn) with Mom or Dad for 5 min.
• Watch a YouTube video with Mom or Dad
• Ride bike outside
• Use of shuffle/mP3 player for the day
• Use of kindle for the day
• Watch a movie
• Purchase a TV episode on amazon
• Rent a movie on amazon
• Purchase an audiobook
• Buy a toy, lego set, or playmobil set
• Buy a new kindle
• Go on a big outing (not really an option rightnow)

At our house a token is equal to $0.10.  So if a child wants to earn a $10 toy, they need 100 tokens. The cost of various privileges ranges from 1 token to upwards of 1000 tokens.  I try to make sure there are many things in the 1-10 token range for them to spend on.  My kids are likely to earn 20 tokens a day though they could earn like 40 if they really went for it.

Tokens
Here's what I use.  $13.99 for 900 bingo chips on amazon.  Anything small and light weight could work.  You could make your own.

Redeeming Tokens
I was surprised by how much time and energy goes into this part of the system.  I have not discussed this part so much with therapists, just figured out what would work for us.  I might be doing it all wrong. I'm ok with that.  My kids are not allowed to redeem tokens until after we finish chore time each day.  It can be difficult to keep track of what they have earned. My brain is pretty full already.

So, at various points in the day (basically after we finish one of our mini routines like breakfast, school time, chore time etc.), I make tally marks on a paper for each child to keep track of tokens they have earned.  Then, after chore time, I hand out all the tokens.

Tokens are truly money at our house and my kids struggle with impulse control so I keep tokens with me, safely in sight but out of reach of kids, or locked up, all the time.  Yes, it's a pain.  But it's worth it.  

Break it Down
When I first gave my kids the big list of ways to earn tokens, they were totally overwhelmed and not even a little bit motivated to do it.  They also both struggle with what is called executive function.  They need help breaking big tasks down and planning how to complete them.

So I broke our day up into several mini-routines and typed up all the things they should do for that mini-routine.  All the things earn them tokens.  We started with just one mini-routine - the morning, pre-breakfast routine.  I gave them each a laminated print out of the routine and asked them to come to me as they completed things on the list so I could mark it off.  Once the morning routine was a habit we added the next mini-routine.  We now have routines for Morning, Breakfast, School Time, Lunch Time, Chore Time, Afternoon, Evening, and Bedtime.  No we don't do it all, probably ever, and we sometimes don't do any of it.  But most of the time, we do most of it, and we are all happier.

Here's an example of a mini-routine.  This is my kids morning routine and they can earn tokens for all of it.

• Shower
• Lotion Arms and Legs
• Get dressed
• Comb or refresh hair
• Brush teeth
• Make bed
• Clean room
• Bathroom chores
• Personal laundry
• Come to the table for breakfast

I think we started with just Shower, Make bed, and Come to the table for breakfast.  I can't say it enough.  Start small.  Just a couple things.  Make it routine.  Build from there.

Give it Time
It has taken us months to get our system working smoothly and we continue to refine/update/change it as we go.  If it's not working, simplify.  

Social Connection amidst Social Distancing

Any extroverts out there withering amidst all this social distancing?  My extroverted children are feeling it. Anyone else had a painful conversation with your kids about why they can't join the neighborhood party that seems to be going on outside your door?  One of the most difficult things about this crisis is that we can't socialize as we normally do.  Social connection is one of the most effective ways to cope with stress and anxiety.

If you remain unconvinced of the reasons for all this extreme social distancing, please look at these simulations https://www.washingtonpost.com/graphics/2020/world/corona-simulator/

There are ways we all can connect while abiding by social distancing practices.  Here are some things that are working for my family It's more important than ever that we connect socially.  I hope you'll try some of these ideas.

Cousin Bookclub
My siblings and I have organized 3 bookclubs for our kids ranging in age from 3 - 16.  We have been using a free zoom room with the breakout rooms feature.  The kids all start in the same room (CHAOS!) and then we break them into three separate rooms.  Our first meeting, the kids all brought a book they have read or are reading to share with the others.  They each gave a "book commercial" to share why they like the book and why their cousins might want to read it, without any spoilers.  Then they talked.  The oldest kids spent most of their time sharing books and decided they all want to read and discuss The Girl Who Could Fly at their next meeting.  This book is appropriate for middle grade students too so many of the middle kids are planning to read or listen to it and they might discuss it too but they were most excited to see each other and talk.  The littles needed help from their moms but loved it.  I know all the cousins are looking forward to next week's meeting.  Google hangouts could work for this too.

Online classes
Our homeschool co-op has moved all our classes online.   The upper elementary, middle school, and high school students all have at least one online class option.  These classes are helping our kids stay connected to their friends and teachers.
 
Family Time
My family has the benefit of living with 5 people under one roof.  These are the only people we are allowing ourselves to have physical contact with.  I'm encouraging more of it.  More hugs, sitting closer to each other while reading or watching a movie, holding hands while taking family walks, jumping on the trampoline together, etc.  Many of us are starved for physical contact.

I would encourage those who live alone to find another person or small family to spend physical time with often.  If you both agree not to interact physically with anyone else,  the risk is low and for those who live a lone, total isolation could be life threatening, from a mental health perspective.  I would not encourage two families to get together.  I would not encourage a large family to invite anyone over.  But those who live alone need a "family" they can be with physically.

Family meals, family movie time, family walks etc. are all extra important right now.  Is your family doing some things together every day, on purpose?  If not, consider adding one regular family activity to your daily routine. 


Phone Calls/Video Calls
I know it's old fashioned technology, but for decades, this was the only way friends and loved ones who lived far from each other could stay in touch.  A phone call with a good friend really is so good.  Try it.

The modern version is facetime.

Marco Polo
I was slow to adopt this one but my sisters convinced me.  Once I got over seeing myself on the screen, I really came to love Marco Polo.  It has enabled me and my 3 sisters to have an ongoing conversation for over a year.  It isn't live.  Each person in the conversation records themselves talking to the group - this little recording is called a polo.  Then everyone else in the conversation can watch the polo at their convenience.  Sometimes I watch polos with a headset late at night or early in the morning without bothering anyone around me.  When it is convenient, those who want to respond, can do so.  Everyone in the conversation watches the polos and responds at their convenience.  My sisters and I are all Moms. Our "free" moments are fleeting and unpredictable.  There's no way I would be so in touch with them if it weren't for Marco Polo. 

Group Text Chats 
This was another one I was slow to adopt.  I believe there are several apps for this.  I have been using What's App.  It makes group texting so much easier to follow and participate in.  I really don't like group texts.  But I'm a fan of What's App chats.  Great for keeping in touch with various groups of friends and family.


Emailing
Another old fashioned technology.  Did you know it could be used for more than promotional junk mail?!  Have your kids ever sent an email?  Now is the time to teach them how.  I consider typing an email school work for my kids as long as it's not a string of emojis. 



Conversation Across the Street
 As we were coming home from our family walk yesterday, we had a lovely conversation with neighbors across the street.  We both stayed on our own sides of the street and spoke a little louder.  It was nice to see and hear some human beings outside of our own family.

Books
John Adams famously wrote, "You will never be alone with a poet in your pocket."  I do love poetry but I also consider many of my favorite characters from books friends.  Reading is a great escape and really can take you beyond your own four walls with zero risk of spreading or catching coronavirus.  Me and mine have been reading a lot lately.  It's so nice to forget about real life for a little while each day and I know of no better way to do it than getting lost in a story.  Each of us experiences books differently.  Some will be more immersed by listening to a book while some, like me, need to see the words on the page themselves for full immersion.  Let me know if you need a book recommendation, I might have a few hundred to recommend...

This is just the things my family has tried.  I know there are lots of additional ideas out there.  What is working for you?

Read Aloud and SSR

How is your homeschool going?  I know I shared A LOT of detailed information in my earlier post on emergency homeschooling and I stand by it but it was meant to be a menu of options, not a checklist and I fear many people are struggling with overwhelm right now.

I want to focus on two very simple things you can do to make your homeschooling incredible.  SO MUCH research backing this up.  This is not just my opinion.  It is proven fact.  Focus JUST on these two things and your homeschool will accomplish more than any other school ever has.  Truly.

1.  Read Aloud
2.  SSR/DEAR

Read Aloud
If you want convincing, read The Read Aloud Handbook by Jim Trelease.  5 minutes of Read Aloud counts and will make a difference.  If you are a working parent and all you can manage is 5 minutes, don't despair, it counts.  It will make a significant difference.


Audio Books Count
This is the easiest way to do read aloud.  Play audiobooks on a kindle, phone, tablet, amazon Alexa, whatever and let the kids play with legos, playmobil, puzzles, coloring, drawing, painting, etc. while they listen.  Be really flexible.  Keep trying out ways to make this work until you figure out the best way for your family.  My kids do best with individual kindles and headsets so they can each listen to what they want.  But our family enjoys sharing a book too, especially in the car.


SSR
SSR stands for Sustained Silent Reading.  Another variation is DEAR or Drop Everything and Read.  The research is stunning.  Failing schools have been turned around in months, student scores have soared, the summer slump has been overcome, all due to SSR.  15 minutes/day is all it takes. But most people will want to keep going.

Read The Read Aloud Handbook by Jim Trelease and The Book Whisperer by Donalyn Miller for convincing.

The keys are:
1. EVERYONE in the home/family/space you are in does it.
2. Each person CHOOSES what they want to read.  No assigned content.
3. Make it SHORT like 15-20 minutes.  Then if anyone wants to continue, they can but DON'T require it.  Let people fall in love with reading.

Seriously,  just focus on Read Aloud and SSR and you will be stunned by the results. 

Meditate. Meditate. Meditate

How's your anxiety today?  2nd day of sudden home schooling for thousands of families.  Even though this is what my family does all the time, it's still extra hard in the current atmosphere.  Everyone in my family feels it.  Nothing is normal.  We started our day late today and didn't do a lot of things on our "plan."  I'm totally ok with that.  That happens, often.  And it is not a problem.  It all works out in the long run.

The one thing I'm really holding on to and making sure we do every day, no matter what, is meditate. It REALLY makes a difference.  If you are a person of faith, as I am, I would include prayer in this category.  IMHO, prayer is a form of meditation and meditation can be a form of prayer.  But whatever your beliefs, slowing down, connecting with your body, shutting out the swirl of crazy outside you and breathing deep will enable you to keep going for another day with more clarity, less anxiety, and a sense of purpose.  We all need that now more than ever.

As I wrote in a previous post I like to use the Calm app.   My husband uses Calm and Headspace  (He's a bit of a junkie).  He likes them both for different reasons.

Guided meditations with an app are simple.  They can be as short as 1 minute though I definitely find greater benefits from something at least 10 minutes long.  My kids have been practicing meditation with me intermittently for over a year.  They aren't perfectly still or even quiet while we meditate but they keep getting better at it.  And it really does help.  A lot.

What Went Well Today?

Today is the first day of homeschooling for thousands of families.  Expectations are high and the thought of doing this for weeks on end may seem daunting.  The most helpful thing you can do in response is notice what went well today.  It will be hard.  Your brain will want to focus on everything that didn't go well.  Don't fight with your brain.  Just acknowledge, "yup, we started an hour later than I planned on",  "yup, the kids are mostly fighting with each other", "yup, I really don't know what I'm doing", etc.  Then, let it go.

There's a lot of research to verify that we attract more of whatever we focus on.  What do you want to attract?  Focus on it.

It will be difficult to get your brain to notice it. This might be a wrestle. But you can do it. Look for moments when someone actually does what you asked them to. Is there a moment when one of the kids is doing some actual school work? Did someone smile? At the very least, you showed up, right? Notice what you are doing and that you aren't giving up. There will be way more good happening than you will see at first.  Look for it, and you'll see more.  Comment on it. That will help your kids brains notice it too. And then you'll get more of it.

I'm 100% positive lots of good stuff is happening in your home today. Notice that stuff and you'll get more of it.

Structure Time Not Content

As mentioned in my post about mitigating anxiety, routines are really important.  All of our routines have been blown up by coronavirus.  Parents who used to leave the house every day for work are now working from home, working different hours, or not working at all.  Kids who used to go to school, appointments, team practices, and lessons are now home all the time.  Families who used to go to church on Sundays are now worshiping at home instead.  There's hardly any differentiation between the hours of the day or the days of the week.  It has so many of us feeling untethered and anxious.

It is time to establish some new routines.  My family is going to spend a lot of time figuring this out today.   You don't need to read the rest of this post unless you like all the details of how someone else does it.  The important thing is to establish new daily and weekly routines for your family.

Here's what I know we need in our new routines:

Weekly

• At least 3 hours of school time, 5 days/week (M-F)
• 1 day of worship (Sunday)
• 1 day of relaxing, working on projects, and having fun together (Saturday) 
• Family activities
• Date night for me and my husband
• Counseling and therapy appointments

 Daily

• Personal hygiene and personal chores
• Family Devotional (week days)
• Meals
• Mediation
• School time (week days)
• Family work and chores
• Free time
• Time outside and moving
• SSR (15 minutes of sustained silent reading for the whole family)
• The end of the day

My family embraces and seeks to apply the principles of Leadership Education.   One of the principles is Structure Time Not Content.   This principle will guide us as we figure out new routines.  My understanding of the principle is that one should designate time for certain kinds of activities but let the actual what be decided day-to-day and possibly even in the moment.  Let me show you what this looks like for my family.  Remember this is just the way we apply the principle.  It's not the "right" way or the only way, it is just our way.

Worship
This is going to be really interesting.  We've only done 1 week at home so far.  The local congregation of our church will be offering a short live streamed service of some kind on Sunday.  Then, the rest is up to us.  I'm not sure what it will look like.  I think it will include scripture reading, singing hymns, discussion, and maybe watching something inspiring.

School Time
We will have at least 3 hours of school time every weekday.  At the beginning of school time, I will help my 11 yo twins write a school plan for the day. There are certain things that must be included in  plans every day but the order in which they are done and what resources they use to do these things can vary according to my children's needs and desires. I specifically don't give them a checklist of tasks to complete or they will do it as quickly as possible and the quality will be poor. Instead I require that they spend 3 hours on school work, as defined by me.  Some days it might take 5 hours to get 3 hours of school work done.

My 16 yo daughter organizes her own school time with very little help from me. She is in Scholar Phase and has several scholar project classes she is committed to (they've all moved online now) and a lot of homework for each of them. She also works on math, foreign language and her own projects. She makes a weekly plan of when and how to get it all done and I check in with her a few times a week to make sure it is happening. When she needs help or resources to get it done, she comes to me, Dad, or one of her project mentors. She has had several years of practicing and developing scholar skills.  She is an advanced scholar and she happens to be a particularly skilled and mature 16 yo. Everything about schooling my twins with their special needs and learning disabilities has been totally different than with her.  I expect that trend will continue when my twins transition into scholar phase (hopefully in the next 2-4 years).

Pre-coronavirus, we attended a home school co-op every Friday.  Now we are doing classes online. 

Saturdays
This has always been a day of relaxing and family fun for us.  It still will be. It will just look a little different now. We sleep in, stay in our pajamas longer, mom and dad work on projects, kids play, maybe go to the park.  We often watch a movie as a family.  And at 8 pm, all kids must be in their rooms while mom and dad have a date downstairs.  Our favorite at home date is Quiet Pasta.  It's quiet because there are no children present, and we eat pasta, one of our favorite foods.  Lately my husband has been making noodles and sauce from scratch.  So good!  I usually make a dessert for us to share as well.  After we eat, we like to watch a TV show or movie together.   It's good bonding time and we look forward to it all week.

Family Activities
Especially as our oldest gets closer to leaving the nest, we are realizing our days as a family living under one roof, are limited. Sometimes the demands of family life at this stage seem like they might kill us and at the same time, the thought of this stage of life ending breaks our hearts.  So we are trying to make the most of it. One of the ways we do this is family activities.  We don't do anything too elaborate.  Things like taking a family walk, watching a movie together, having a family dance party.  We used to go on outings to museums, parks, libraries, plays etc. but other than parks, we are staying away from public spaces right now. 

Counseling and Therapy Appointments
I currently see my counselor online.  My son has an ABA therapist that comes to our home twice a week.  For now that is continuing and we hope it stays that way.  We have stopped going to therapy appointments outside of our home.  So far, all the extra time at home feels like a blessing.  

Personal Hygiene and Personal Chores
Establishing a wake up time and a time when everyone should be ready for the day is critical to a successful routine.  At our house, everyone is supposed to be dressed and ready for the day, sitting at the breakfast table by 8:30 am.  What happens more often is, I'm waking kids up, urging them to get in the shower and calling for them to come down to breakfast.  They are usually all there by 9 am.  But the more consistent I am, the closer we get to the goal.  Especially if I have breakfast ready by 8:30, kids can smell it, and they are more likely to show up on time.  I also expect my kids to do a few personal chores in the morning.  Things like make your bed, clean your room, clean up your part of the bathroom, fold your personal laundry (if there is any ready to be folded).  In reality, these personal chores often get done in the afternoon but it's really nice when they are done in the morning.

Meal Time
The benefits of eating family meals together are numerous.  Regular, predictable mealtimes are critical for a healthy routine too.  My family aims to eat breakfast at 8:30 am, lunch at 12:30 pm, and dinner at 6:30 pm.  What actually happens every day is 30-60 minutes later than scheduled but we aim for these times and that's enough to provide structure and predictability to our day.  As with so many things in family life, the more consistent and prepared I am, the closer we get to the ideal actually happening.  I expect all my kids to help prepare breakfast and lunch.  My oldest is responsible for dinner one night/week.  I want to train my 11 yos to cook dinner too but we aren't there yet.

Family Devotional
Usually during breakfast time, me and the kids have a devotional together.  Dad is already working by that time.  It's pretty simple.  We read a verse of scripture and discuss it.  We might sing a hymn, share something that inspired one of us, or listen to a chapter of scripture.

Meditation Time
I mentioned in a previous post that my family has begun doing meditations every morning to help mitigate anxiety in this time of crisis.  We start school time with it.  We use the Calm app and do a 10-15 minute meditation together.

Family Work
Every afternoon, after school time, we do chores.  In our family, privileges are tied to responsibilities.  My oldest has several significant responsibilities including part of laundry, loading and unloading the dishwasher, cooking dinner once/week, and driving siblings to things like dance class or dentist appointments.  Obviously she's not doing a lot of driving right now.  For the most part, she decides when and how to do her chores.  But she isn't able to do the things she wants to for fun if her chores aren't done.

For my twins, we use a token system.  I'll write about that in a separate post, later.  I require the twins to each do 3 chores per day.  What the chores are changes every day, based on what I need them to do.  It could be sorting dirty laundry, taking garbage or recycling out, sweeping or vacuuming, clearing and washing the kitchen counters, hand washing dishes, or picking up a messy family room. I decide each day based on what I see that needs doing.  And not all at once.  Each child is supposed to come to me during chore time and ask "Mom, what's my first chore?"  Then I look around and tell them what to do, based on what I see that needs doing.  When it's done, it is the child's job to check back with me and ask me to approve what they have done.  I frequently ask them to redo part of it or finish something that hasn't been finished adequately.  Then they ask me what their second chore is, check back, and then ask for their 3rd chore and check back.

They get tokens for doing each of these steps and they cannot have free time or redeem tokens for privileges until chores are done, even on Saturdays and Sundays.  It takes a lot of parental effort to teach kids to work but it is so worth it.  On days when my kids do their chores, everything at home looks so much better.  And we all feel better in a cleaner house.  I will never have a magazine-worthy home to show but it's mostly clean at least half the time and my kids are learning to work.  I call that success.  (Don't ask me how I feel about it on the days when no one does their chores.)

Free Time
It is important for everyone in the family to have time everyday to do things they want to do, without agenda.  At our house kids have freetime in the afternoon after school and chores are done.  I encourage my kids to spend this time outside but I generally don't require that.  Parents get free time in the evening after kids go to their rooms for the night.

Time outside and Moving
In a previous post I talked about how getting outside and moving helps mitigate anxiety.  I'm making this a priority in our routine.  At the very least I will go get the mail and invite others with me.  At best, we will take a family walk together, adults and teen will exercise (we all prefer different kinds of exercise) and the kids will spend time on the trampoline, at the park, and riding their bikes.  

SSR
Did you do SSR (Sustained Silent Reading) when you were a kid at school?  Or maybe DEAR (Drop Everything and Read)?  This is one of those magical things that seems to good to be true.  But I'm telling you, try it and you'll see.  We try to do SSR every evening at 7:30.  We all (including Dad - this is critical) sit in the family room together and everyone has to choose something they want to read for fun.  It can't be on a computer screen.  Maybe on a kindle if I trust the reader to actually use it for reading.  I set a timer and we read for 15 minutes.  The first few times we did it, one of my kids struggled to focus and stay silent, but they are getting it now.  The benefits of SSR are truly magical.  Like the #1 most impactful thing you can do for education.  We're talking, improving test scores and helping students fall in love with learning.  More than any class, any activity, any intervention, any therapy, any teaching of any kind, SSR is the best.  It's so simple its hard to believe and easy to dismiss.  If you want convincing read The Read Aloud Handbook by Jim Trelease and The Book Whisperer by Donalyn Miller.  It truly is astounding.  Try it.  You won't be sorry.  It is critical that the adults participate and that everyone chooses what to read- the content can't be assigned.

The End of the Day
It's important for our brains and bodies to get lots of signals when the day is coming to a close and it's important that these signals happen in a predictable, routine way.  This will lead to better sleep and reduced anxiety.  The sun going down is a nice natural signal.  At our house, after SSR, we ask kids to get their PJs on, brush their teeth and then go to their rooms to read, listen to audiobooks, play quietly, draw, etc.  Ideally, we would also have family prayer together and maybe do a meditation together.  But I'm not gonna lie, as our kids got older they stopped wanting us to tuck them in and the prayer part of the routine went with it.  I think we'll work on bringing that back into our evening routine.  By 8 pm, kids are expected to stay in their rooms.  Mom and Dad have some free time to talk, watch TV, read and be together. Kids lights go out at 10 pm.  Mom and Dad try to have lights out by 11 pm.  But often it's more like midnight.  Some of our kids struggle with falling asleep before midnight which makes it difficult for us to go to sleep too.  I think if we focus on following our daily routine, this will become less of a problem.

Bottom line, routines make life smoother.  They are essential for mental health and happiness.  Work on developing your own.

Mitigating Anxiety in the Time of the Coronavirus

Are you feeling the swirl of anxiety in and around you?  Everyone at my house is feeling it at varying levels of intensity.  It is everywhere online and in stores too.

I've lived most of my life with anxiety.  The intensity varies, but it's always with me.  Welcome to my world.  It is something you can get used to.  It is something you can manage.  It is something you can mitigate.  I wasn't born knowing any of this.  I had to learn it.  You can too.  I'm not an expert, just an experienced acquaintance of anxiety.  I hope maybe my thoughts on what has helped me will help someone else.

I'm seeing my immediate family members, especially my children, suffer increasing levels of anxiety.  I'm worried about all of them.  Anxiety is a sticky mess that wants to keep snowballing and suck everyone in. But it doesn't have to.  Here's how I'm mitigating it at my house.  I hope at least one idea here resonates with you.  Don't feel compelled to do it all.  This is an idea list, not a check list.

Meditation
Regular, daily mediation has been proven to help reduce anxiety.  I have personally experienced this effect and seen it work for my family members too.  I like to use the Calm app.   My husband uses Calm and Headspace  (He's a bit of a junkie).  He likes them both for different reasons.

Seeing the growing anxiety in my family as life gets less and less normal, I've decided to meditate with the kids every morning.  We might start doing it in the afternoon too.  Guided meditations with an app are simple.  They can be as short as 1 minute though I definitely find greater benefits from something at least 10 minutes long.  My kids have been practicing meditation with me intermittently for over a year.  They aren't perfectly still or even quiet while we meditate but they keep getting better at it.  And it really does help.

Talk About It
When I see signs of stress in my family members, I label it and try to get them talking about it.  For example after my son bolted out the door to go jump on the trampoline (as soon as he heard the Press Conference all about coronoavirus start yesterday), I made a mental note to talk to him when he came back inside.  When he came in I said, "Are you worried about coronavirus? "  He nodded.  I asked him if he had any questions and I can't remember what he said but we talked for a couple minutes.  I hugged him and reassured him as much as I could.  Mostly I listened.  It only lasted 2-3 minutes and then he went off to play legos.


Talking about it doesn't make it go away but it kinda does.  It dissipates the feeling and lessons it's power.  It allows you to let go of it.  Anxiety will come back at some point but knowing that it will also go away again makes it so much less threatening.

Routine
A huge part of what is so stressful right now is how unpredictable everything is.  The circumstances around us change every hour.  Nothing looks or feels normal.  Predictability is really important for human beings.  Variety can be fun but stability is critical.  We all had routines we were following without even thinking about it a week or 2 ago.  Now they've all disappeared.  Time for new routines.  My family is still figuring out our new routine.  I'll share it after we figure it out.  A routine will anchor everyone.  It will provide some much needed predictability.  It will give each member of your household purpose and something to do besides worry.   

Get outside and Move
Moving your body will reduce anxiety. This has been proven. Something as simple as a 5 minute walk will do it. We have a trampoline and my son uses it almost every day. I can see it reducing his anxiety.  A walk to the mailbox really helps me.  Family walks work for all of us.  My husband has been running outside everyday.  All three of my kids like to walk to the park, often.  All my family's ways to move also get us outside.  Spending time in nature has also been proven to reduce anxiety. 

Talk Therapy
I have benefited so many times in my life from talking with a licensed therapist.  I currently have a therapist I meet with online.  This is referred to as tele-health.  It can take some real effort to find a therapist that's available and a good fit.  It is worth the effort.  A couple of services I've heard of that exclusively offer therapy via tele-health are Better Help and Talk Space.  They are relatively inexpensive and I've heard good things about both.  I found my current counselor by calling and emailing around to different offices and asking for recommendations of therapists who offered tele-health counseling.  It took a month to find exactly what I was looking for. Worth. It.


Medication
I have a handful of very close family members and friends who swear by medication.  I have not yet felt the need for it but I think sometimes it is necessary and I wouldn't rule it out.

Supplements
Under the care of a Naturopathic Doctor, I have been taking health supplements that have made a real difference for me.  I have also watched a family member use a variety of supplements on the recommendations of other friends and family and end up in the ER with serious problems.  Supplements can be just as powerful and dangerous as medication.  Don't just take them because someone you know recommended them.  Do your own research and consult a professional (ND, MD, Herbalist etc.) before using supplements.

Things to Look Forward to
We all need hope.  This can be generated through spiritual practices and thought work.  I also find it helpful to plan some fun things into my routine and schedule for the week. It could be as simple as a good book to read at the end of the day, a family movie time every afternoon, dessert on Saturday night, a phone call with a good friend.  It could also be more elaborate and involved.  My siblings and I are coordinating a family book club online for our kids (the cousins) while everyone is out of school.  My family will be celebrating Easter over the next month and we will spend time preparing and celebrating here at home.

Before the library closes...

Life has changed a lot in the last few weeks but nothing hit me quite like hearing last night that my local library system was closing indefinitely.  This is getting real!

I dreamt/worried about it all night and woke up at 6 reviewing my plan to get to the library when it opened today.  It's not like we don't have tons of books here at our house and we still have access to the libraries digital books, but I visit the library sometimes 3 times a week.  Especially as I have 1 reader in a full on reading binge and another I'm trying to tempt into one.  Reading binges require a lot of books!  So when I knew the library would be closing, I made sure to get what I could before it did.

Me and my kids arrived at the library 15 minutes before it opened this morning and we got one of the last open parking spots.  We waited in our car for about 10 minutes and spent the last 5 outside with several other people waiting for the doors to open.  When they did, everyone politely went inside, no stampede, but there was tension in the air.  I suspect most of us there are regular library users and we are all struggling with the idea of losing access to such an important part of our lives.   Those of us with children to homeschool have an additional reason for really wanting library books.

I gave each of my kids an extra large bag and I had one for myself.  I told them all to go look for books that look interesting and to try and fill their bags up.  I spent time with each child trying to help them find things that I thought would interest them.  After about 30 minutes we had 4 very full bags of books.  One of the librarians asked to take our picture saying, "You are the poster family for a day like this."  Part of me was concerned about taking more than our fair share of books but I also thought that the library is full of thousands of books.  It would be a tragedy for all those books to stay locked up on library shelves for weeks or months when they could be in peoples homes, being read.  The librarians clearly agreed with this sentiment.  They kept reminding everyone there was no limit on how many books we could check out (a temporary relaxing of rules and actually the limit is 300 books) and encouraging us all to take more.

Shelf 1 of library books

While I was typing this a friend pinged me on facebook to point out that my family's picture is now part of the libraries stock-up-on-books advertising.😂  I've been training my whole life for this!

I was also thrilled to hear that the libraries are hoping to work out a way for patrons to put books on hold online and then come pick up holds from the library without actually going in to the library.  I think this is a brilliant idea and I really hope they are able to do it.  To the librarians of the world I say, bless you and thank you!

Shelf 2 of library books

When we got home I told the kids to bring the books inside but not take them out of the bags yet.  Painful for all of us.  I wanted to clear some space on our bookshelves first to store all the books. I always have a basket for library books but it was already mostly full and it only holds about 50 books.  We needed to find places for about 150 books.  So we moved some books up to our bedroom bookshelves and reorganized a few shelves and then we started unloading the library books on to shelves just for them.  I find it critical to keep library books in the family room, in designated locations so that we don't lose them.

Overflow in the basket that normally holds our library books

If/when a child wants to take a library book to their bedroom, I require that they "check it out" with me.  I take a picture of the book and don't delete it until they bring the book back down stairs.  We were all in heaven pouring over the books and organizing them onto our bookshelves.

Now the struggle is what to read first.  Chloe and I are both midway through other books that we want to finish before we start on these.  Good thing we now have so much reading time!

Shelf 3 of library book

If your library hasn't closed yet, go get some books!  Start putting things on hold too!

Schooling in the Time of Coronavirus

UPDATE 3/13/20  Sno-isle libraries are closing today at 6pm and we don't know when they will reopon.  You'll still be able to borrow digital content online but if you want some hard copy books, DVDs, or CDs, hurry today and get what you can!

Did you just find out your child’s school is going to be closed for 2 weeks or more?! I’ve heard some schools in Washington State are closing for as many as 6 weeks! Are you totally freaking out? Don’t worry that’s a normal reaction. But also, I’ve got you. It will be fine. It might even be fun.

Who am I? My name is Jennifer. I have been homeschooling my kids ages 11, 11, and 16 from the beginning. None of my kids have been to public school. To be clear, I am not opposed to public school and I’m really glad public schools exist. It isn’t what my family has chosen as our best option - but that’s just us. I truly don’t believe there is one right way to school. Each family can and should decide what is best for them. That said, I have some experience homeschooling kids. I have also coached a lot of moms who are figuring out how to homeschool their kids. 2 of my kids have special needs. 1 of them is on the autism spectrum. So I’ve had to figure out how to work with a variety of different circumstances.

Also, between my kids special needs and the Homeschool Group and co-op I help run (LEAF, if you’re curious) I basically have a full time job. So I feel you, working parents who now have to homeschool your kids on top of it!

Please note, all the advice I’m about to give is specific to this, short term, emergency situation. If you were just beginning homeschool and were planning to continue it for the next few months, I would have some different advice for you. Not wildly different, but different. If you happen to be contemplating homeschooling for more than a few weeks, check out this blog post I wrote a while ago.

Ok, so you have 3 or 4 days to prepare and then BAM! You’ll be homeschooling for at least 2 weeks, maybe longer. To begin with:

1. Take a Deep Breath. The rest of your child’s future does not hang on these few weeks. Even if your kids do nothing productive the whole time, it won’t ruin them. Really. You may have heard of the summer slump, when kids regress academically after 2-3 months of no school. Yes, it’s a thing. But your kids probably won’t be out of school for 2-3 months. And even if they are, the summer slump can be mitigated by reading a few books. Really. All kinds of research on this. You don’t have time to look it all up so just trust me. I’ve read dozens of books on this and I’ve seen it in action.
2. I’m gonna share lots of ideas. Think of this as a menu, not a checklist. You shouldn’t try to do it all. Pick a few things that resonate with you and try those out.
3. You’re all gonna get a little cagey and house-bound. Make sure you all get outside, every day. Even if it’s just a family walk to the mailbox, get outside. Every. Single. Day. It will improve everyone’s mental health, it can help you all reset after a rough morning/afternoon/moment, and it will really help the kids with ADHD. I try to do school with my kids in the morning and encourage them to spend a lot of time outside in the afternoon, especially my son who has ADHD and autism. Trampoline time saves us all.

What to Do With Little Ones

With kids ages roughly 0-8 I recommend that you mostly let them play. There’s tons of research showing how beneficial creative/free-play is. Creative/free-play means the child decides what and how to play. Obviously within safety and household limits, but you don’t need to convince your child to play something specific. If your kids are out of practice, they might need a few hours of boredom to figure it out, but they will.

Little ones often enjoy playing while listening to an audiobook. While I enjoy reading aloud to my kids, I can’t do it for hours, and sometimes I really need to work so I can’t be the reader. Audiobooks to the rescue! Put an audiobook on and let the kids play (as quietly as they can). If you need suggestions, here is a list of favorites that I read to my oldest when she was 4-6 years old.
I also recommend the booklists on the Read Aloud Revival website. And the book Read Aloud Handbook by Jim Trelease has a giant booklist in it. You can get the e-book version right now but this is a book I personally want in hard copy. There are plenty of other great lists out there but you don’t have time for research so just try one or all of these.

Where to get audiobooks? 

• Most libraries have amazing selections of audiobooks that you can checkout and download online, for free.
• Librivox.com offers free public domain audiobooks. The quality of narrators can vary but it’s free so try a few out.
• I love my audible.com membership. I get a credit for one free audiobook every month (worth up to $42) and there are tons of inexpensive audiobooks (like under $5 each) available on audible.com. The Read Aloud Revival website keeps track of the deals and recommends good ones. It doesn’t take a lot of money or time to build a great audiobook library of your own. I also love that my audible account is connected to my Alexa so I can easily tell Alexa to play any of my audiobooks.
• CDs of anything narrated by Jim Weiss. Jim Weiss is hands down my family’s favorite narrator. My kids know his name and will listen to anything he narrates. A few of his recordings are starting to show up on audible but most of his work is only available on CD. Worth the hassle though, seriously. The sno-isle library system has dozens of his stories available. You can also buy them on amazon.com. You’ll need a CD player to play them on, but again, worth it.

What to Do With Middle ones

Kids between the ages of 8-14 would benefit most right now from a reading binge. No matter what reading level they are at right now, a reading binge is the best thing that could happen to them and it might change their lives. Many studies show over and over again, that lots of time spent reading increases test scores dramatically - in fact pages read is the best predictor of test scores! Reading books over the summer is more effective in eliminating the summer slump than summer school! And it doesn’t matter what the students read - it only matters that they read A LOT. If you need convincing check out The Read Aloud Handbook by Jim Trelease and all the work of Donalyn Miller (Book Whisperer, Reading in the Wild, Game Changer). But you don’t have time for that. So just trust me.

So how do you get your kids to go on a reading binge? You let them choose what they want to read and you get the books for them. Fastest way to make sure it doesn’t happen is to require your kids to read specific books. But if you let them choose and they get sucked in, you’re golden. Try to help them find a series they are interested in reading. Series really help suck young readers in and keep them going. And seriously, the quality of the writing is not important. As long as the book doesn’t conflict with your values, the reading practice will be a game changer for your child. Is there a book series your child has shown interest in? Maybe something you’ve sniffed your nose at? Again, as long as it doesn’t conflict with your values, embrace it. This could be your child’s golden ticket. I’m not exaggerating. If you had the time, I’d tell you to go read the research. But you don’t.

Some popular series for middle-grade readers include

• Magic Treehouse
• Harry Potter
• Land of Stories
• Dork Diaries
• Babysitters Club
• I Survived
• American Girls
• Percy Jackson
• Fablehaven
• Alcatraz
• The Giver
• Eragon

That’s just off the top of my head. So many options out there. Talk to your kids. See if they have a series they have wanted to read. Or start googling or searching on amazon. Don’t worry about books being right at your child’s “level.” As long as it’s doable for them and they want to try it, a reading binge is possible and that’s what we want. If you’ve found a series and you can afford to, buy it on amazon and make sure it arrives before Monday. You can also see if the library carries it and put all the books on hold. When the books are ready for you to pick up, you don’t have to linger in the library or interact with anyone. Just go to the hold shelf, grab your books, check them out and take off. You’ll have minimal exposure to people and likely no actual interaction with anyone. Some, but not all, libraries will stay open throughout the coronavirus outbreak so you may be able to get books and CDs from the library.

If your middle-grade child struggles with reading, I still hope they can find a series within their reading level that they can binge. It will make a massive difference for them. But if they aren’t capable of this yet or you just can’t get them inspired, audiobooks will be wonderful for them. Even better would be listening to the audio while following along in a hard copy of the book. This is also a good strategy for reading a book way above their reading level. Say for example, they really, really want to read Harry Potter but their reading level is well below that, they can listen to the book, It will do wonders for them.

I also highly recommend a binge of The Story of the World audio CDs by Susan Wise Bauer. Jim Weiss, my family’s favorite narrator, is the narrator for these CDs. Between the writing and the narrating, this series really turns history into a fascinating story. My kids have listened to the whole series multiple times. They LOVE it. I love hearing them talk about people from history like friends and acquaintances. My son regularly brings up the Visigoths and Ashurbanipal. Cracks us up. There are 4 volumes and each is 8 - 12 hours long. The whole set will cost well over $100. Worth it. Even if you only get one. Worth it. The library has them too but, get in line. There’s always a long wait for them.

Most kids can’t sit still while listening to an audiobook. If your kids are going to spend hours listening to books I recommend getting out legos, coloring books, art supplies, nail polish, fidgets and other things your kids could play with while they listen.

Kids this age would do well with their own kindles to listen to audio books on and to read on. Especially if you have multiple children and they all want to listen to different things, kindles with headsets are a lifesaver.

It could also be fun to read a book and then watch the movie. It could motivate reluctant readers if they know the whole family will watch the movie at the end of the day or week. Here’s a list of kids books made into movies. Harry Potter is the best one I can think of. I’m kind of a fan...

If you are struggling to keep kids busy and they aren’t falling into a reading binge. You could try

• Crash Course kids on youtube. This is a well done PBS series covering all kinds of science topics. Just beware of all the commercials and additional content that will be tempting your kids. Youtube’s algorithm is designed to entice people to stay on as long as possible and this is accomplished by offering more and more extreme content to the viewer (on the side in the “up next” column). I recommend turning autoplay off and keeping a close eye on kids while they use youtube.
• Documentaries on Kanopy This site offers all kinds of documentaries. You should be able to get free access to it through your library.
• Documentaries on youtube. There are some cool ones on there like the one where they build a medieval castle from scratch without any modern technology. Just do a search. And keep a close eye on the kids while they are on youtube.
• Educational TV shows. No, this isn’t as good as school, but it’s better than you losing your mind or your job and it’s far better than mindless TV. Some series my kids have enjoyed and that I find value in
• Magic School Bus
• Annedroids
• Odd Squad 
• Wild Kratts
• I know there are others, search amazon and netflix and you’ll find them

For a little variety and to break up all the reading/listening/watching here are some more ideas

• Khan Academy online. It’s free, there are courses on dozens of subjects, not just math, and the instructional videos are pretty great. Khan keeps kids engaged with reminders to do it every day, and virtual rewards for mastering content and keeping a streak going. I’m amazed at how motivating and effective it is.
• Typing.com. Free and very effective way to work on keyboarding skills. My kids enjoy it.
• Duolingo.com. Free, fun, and effective way to learn languages. My kids love it.
• Code.org. Free, fun, and a great launchpad into coding. I hear that Khan Academy has more advanced coding for those who max out code.org.
• Board games and card games. Tons of learning happens with games. Lots of reading and math are usually required and more importantly lots of strategizing and problem solving which will translate to academics.
• Get an email pen-pal. Practice typing and writing skills and connect with a grandparent, cousin, friend etc. over email.

What to Do With Biggest ones

For students ages 14-18 A reading binge would be amazing, maybe life changing. It will definitely improve their test scores. There are tons of series that would be perfect for these students too. Here’s a few I recommend

• The Giver series by Lois Lowry
• The Mistborn series
• everything written by Brandon Sanderson (He has multiple series and really sucks readers in)
• The Hunger Games series
• Uglies, Pretties, Specials series
• Enders Game series and Ender’s Shadow series

Great Courses - this is an incredible resource. You can watch recorded lectures by acclaimed professors from prestigious universities on every subject under the sun. I think many highschool students would enjoy it. Especially those who are college-bound and thinking about what they want to study, this is a fabulous opportunity to try out some subjects they are interested in. I recommend a Great Courses Plus membership. You can get a free trial for 14 days and then it’s only $19.99/month to continue.

I recommend audio books for these students too. Any books they are interested in. These students can probably come up with their own quiet activities to do while listening but all the things I suggest for Middle kids would probably work for Biggest kids too.

All the other things I recommended for Middle kids, I also recommend for Biggest kids. These include

• Khan Academy online
• Typing.com
• Duolingo.com
• Code.org
• Board games and card games
• Email pen-pal

In addition, if your student is college-bound and starting to think about it, this is an excellent opportunity to research schools, majors, and careers. It’s also a good time to practice for the SAT and ACT. Khan Academy online is an excellent free resource for this.

I’m excited for you and your kids to have this opportunity. I am aching for and worrying about all those who will suffer from missing out on school lunches and childcare while the school closures last. This is a huge problem and I don’t want to minimize it in any way. But, for those of you who are able to work from home and have the means to feed your children at home, this just might be one of the greatest experiences of your life. Embrace it! Good luck! I’m here if you have questions:)