Christmas 2009

We had a really great Christmas season this year. The calm, peaceful, quiet experience was such a contrast to last year's crazy adventure. The twins have added so much to our joy. We've spent a lot of quiet evenings at home all together reading Christmas stories, singing carols, and dancing to Christmas music. We celebrate Christmas Eve with an enchilada dinner and a family performance of the nativity. Sadly, Kelly was sick with food poisoning all day on Christmas Eve but by Christmas morning was much better. We've saved him some enchiladas for later.

This year's nativity was one of the cutest things I've ever seen. I'll put a clip from it on here so you can see who I think are the most adorable Mary, Joseph, and Angel ever cast in a nativity. The camera man was queasy-sorry if his filming makes you feel the same. The donkey was a little sheepish about being filmed but it was necessary.

Christmas morning was a joy. The twins couldn't believe it when we handed them presents and encouraged them to tear open the wrapping paper. We've been shooing them away from the tree and presents all month. They were happy to get gifts but really wished we'd just let them eat the paper. All the Christmas morning pics are on Kelly's camera. I'll try to get them uploaded soon.

Christmas Letter

I sent this letter as our Christmas Card this year so nothing new for some of you but it sums up the crazy year that was 2009 for our family, so I'm posting it here.

Dear Family and Friends,
We had such an eventful year in 2009 that we wanted to share the highlights with you.
The first, most exciting event began last year, just before Christmas. We found out we would be adopting twin babies, a boy and girl. Isabel had asked for a baby for Christmas the 2 previous years and we were so excited to finally grant her wish.

The twins were born in Utah, 4 months early, on November 15, 2008. Their early birth classified them as micro-preemies. Chloe came first, weighing in at 1 lb. 6 oz and Liam followed, weighing in at 1 lb. 5.5 oz. We first learned about them when they were about a month old, on December 13, 2008. That was a Saturday. On the following Tuesday we spoke to their birthmother. Wednesday she chose us to adopt the twins. Thursday we bought a minivan. Friday we packed it up and drove off to Utah to go be with our babies.

The twins had to remain in the NICU at IMC hospital in Murray, Utah until February 7, 2009. Jen and Isabel stayed with family in Utah the whole time and Kelly flew back and forth on weekends. Family members watched Isabel while Jen spent time with Chloe and Liam in the hospital. When Kelly was there, he divided his time between Isabel and the babies. His employer and coworkers were wonderfully supportive and flexible during this adventure.

Being born so early and so tiny, the twins battled many health challenges in those first months. We brought them home to the Seattle area at the end of February. Because the babies were so fragile and immune compromised, we kept them at home all winter and spring and limited our contact with the outside world. We were just about ready to get out in society when Swine Flu hit. So, we stayed at home an extra month. We finally started getting out in June. Now that we are back in RSV/Flu season we are staying at home again. You can see pictures and read more about the twins NICU stay at www.jarrettfamilyadventure.blogspot.com.

The twins are healthy and growing. They are miracle babies. Technically they are 1 year old but their adjusted age is 8 months old. Liam had more problems than Chloe, and is behind her developmentally but they are both progressing well and we expect them to catch up and live normal healthy lives. Chloe started out bigger but now she is the tiny one. She weighs a little more than 14 pounds and wears 3-6 month old clothing. She has just started crawling and gets into everything. She has no idea she’s so little. Liam, or “the tank,” as we often call him, has bulked up and now weighs about 18 pounds and wears 6-9 month old clothing. He seems really big to us. He is working on rolling onto his tummy. He would like to skip crawling and go straight to standing and walking but his physical therapist says it’s really important for him to crawl first. She is pleased with his progress and thinks he will crawl soon. Both babies love to sit and play. Chloe likes peek-a-boo and Liam likes patty-cake. They both say Dadada often. Every now and then we hear a mama from one of them.

They definitely have a special “twin” connection. As soon as we brought them home we put them in the same crib. Recently we decided to separate them because Chloe is always crawling and rolling all over Liam and when he’s had it he will wallop or bite her. When we separated them Chloe cried really hard. After a day of naps and bedtime in separate cribs, Mom felt really bad for lonely little Chloe spinning around in her crib all by herself, looking for brother. So we tried putting them back together and Chloe was so happy. She curled over on her side right next to Liam, popped her thumb in her mouth and closed her eyes. Liam looked pretty happy too. We will keep them in the same crib until one of them truly wants to be alone.

Isabel is a happy, helpful, and loving big sister. It has been heartwarming to watch her embrace this new role. The twins adore her. She will tell you that being a big sister is hard work and sometimes she’d like to have all of Mommy and Daddy’s attention but whenever she gets the chance she tells people, “This is my brother and sister. I am their big sister.” We hope to legally finalize the twins’ adoption in December and then seal them to our family eternally in a religious ceremony in January.

The first 6 months with any baby are challenging. The first 6 months with micro-preemie twins are something that can’t be described, only experienced. We have lived to tell about it and are so grateful that Chloe and Liam have joined our family. In the summer we really started to get into a rhythm with our new life. We felt like we could handle our situation and were looking forward to the coming months. Jen was working to establish a home school group for Isabel that would start in the fall and Kelly was planning on a work trip to Tanzania in eastern Africa. I guess someone thought we needed a little more excitement to close out the year.

At the end of September, Jen got sick with severe nausea, dizziness, and balance problems. After going to the ER and being admitted to the hospital, she was diagnosed with a cavernoma in her cerebellum that had to be removed via brain surgery. Jen had surgery on October 1st while Isabel celebrated her 6th birthday. After successful surgery and a 5 week stay in the hospital, Jen came home in mid October. Our family, friends, and Kelly’s coworkers have been unbelievably supportive and helpful. Grandmas came at different times to take care of all the children so Kelly could go to work and Kelly’s coworkers encouraged him to take as much time off as he needed to deal with the situation. As you may have guessed, he did not take that trip to Tanzania. Jen went ahead with launching the homeschool group, thanks to her dedicated friends. Jen hosted a meeting at the hospital prior to her surgery and her friends got the ball rolling. Isabel has enjoyed participating in the group this fall and Jen has even been a couple times.

Jen has been home for almost a month now and is recovering well. She has double vision and wears a patch to help with this. She has also had a lot of balance problems but is getting better and looks less like a drunken pirate every day. She’s heard a lot of pirate jokes, mostly from Kelly, and says, “go ahead, take your best shot. Maybe you’ll outdo him.” She is now able to care for the kids and our home at a basic level and has reengaged with our homeschool community and our church. We are all so grateful that her health is returning and that there will be no permanent consequences. It may take months but the doctors expect all her symptoms to go away and there shouldn’t be any future problems with her brain.

The Christmas Season is our favorite time of year. As we reflect on the gift of our Savior’s birth and feel the warm spirit it brings to the world we are grateful for all our blessings and want to share that feeling with our friends and family. This year, more than ever, we have so much to be grateful for. Thank you for all you have done to help, pray for, and think of us this year.

Love,

The Jarretts
Kelly, Jen, Isabel, Chloe, and Liam


PS Keep in touch! Kelly is on facebook. Jen has a blog at www.mavenhood.blogspot.com. We are both on goodreads.com

A couple updates as of 12/25/09: Jen is now patchless with some double-vision but much improved. She still can't drive but hopefully soon! Liam is crawling and rolling and getting ready to walk. Chloe is crusing along furniture and we expect her to walk soon. The twins went to "school" with Jen and Isabel this month and it was fun. The twins pediatrician encouraged us to start going into public more this winter instead of hiding out at home. So, we are going to church and our homeschool group. Yea!

Christmas Picture

So if you are on my Christmas Card list I'm spoiling the surprise but this is too cute, I have to post it. Chloe and Liam just turned 1. Isabel just turned 6. I love my kids!

Back to Basics

Wow! The last 7 months of my life have been crazy wonderful. Our twins, Chloe and Liam are doing so great. Check out recent pics of them here. It is so fun to be the mother of 3 adorable, hilarious, sweet, lovable, and always-changing children. And, obviously it is time consuming and hard work. But I've dreamed of being this kind of busy for a long time. I'm trying to soak it up and enjoy every minute and remember that before I know it my little ones will be grown up and I'll be wishing for these days again. Somehow I manage to read tons but that's about all I do besides taking care of children and very basic, not-quite-adequate housekeeping. Maybe today is the day the bathroom will actually get done...

Isabel turns 6 in October and this would be the year she would enroll in Public School if we weren't homeschooling. With all our family changes a lot of people have asked if I will still be able to homeschool my kids. I know most people think it gets harder with more kids but I can now say with a few months worth of experience, that at least for now, it is easier. If I were doing a K-12 program that looked like public school then yeah, it might be impossible to do but when your engaged in Leadership Education, having a family with lots of kids makes it so much better. One of the principles of this philosophy is "Inspire not Require." That's where most of my energy goes - finding new ways to inpsire Isabel. Having the twins has inspired her to do lots of new things.

One example is reading. She loves to be read to and sometimes shows a desire to read herself but "reading" (what beginning readers do using a combination of sight reading, phonics, contextual clues, and guessing) to Mom is like a test and feels pointless. Mom already knows what the words on the page say and she'll know if you read it wrong--she doesn't need you to read to her. But "reading" to your little brother and sister is exciting! They certainly can't read for themselves and are excited to have your attention. Plus, they don't know if you read it right or wrong. You get to be the big, knowledgeable person while you practice things you are learning. Isabel has made a lot of progress in her reading lately and I know it's because she's been inspired by the presence of her baby brother and sister.

We've also had some success restructuring our morning routine. We have to schedule ourselves around the babies eating and napping times. This has forced us to be a little more structured and gives a nice flow to our day. All 3 of my kids are in core phase. In core phase we focus on teaching them good/bad, right/wrong, true/false, work, family relationships, and responsiblity. So our day is structured to facilitate this. I get up before all the kids to exercise and shower. Then I feed babies while Isabel gets her own breakfast, showers, and gets dressed. Having the babies has given her the motivation and opportunity to learn more skills and become more independent. While the babies play we start our morning chores together: dishes and kitchen clean-up, make the beds, pick-up bedrooms and livingroom, vacuum and laundry. If we did a good job the day before and didn't leave a lot of messes for ourselves, the morning cleanup only takes 30-45 minutes. After the twins have played for 20-40 minutes they are ready for a nap.

When our chores are done we use the rest of naptime for school time. That is, we do whatever Isabel is inspired to do. Usually we cuddle up in the chaise lounge with a novel and read for an hour or more. Other things we do are read library and picture books, do art projects, bake in the kitchen, work in the garden, listen to music, dance, and play games. I try to keep a running list in my head all week of things Isabel has expressed an interest in and then we use our morning time to do things from the list. I'm always putting things on hold at the library and once a week Kelly or I pick up the latest stack of books. I try to bring in resources and materials in response to Isabel's interests. I don't make her do anything during school time, I just respond to her needs and interests. Over the past few weeks we've learned about microbes, ants, gardening, Beethoven, and poetry; read the scriptures, dozens of fairytales, a handful of novels, and stacks of pictures books; baked different kinds of bread and muffins; planted and maintained a square foot garden (with some major help from our friends Rachel and Jason - thank you!);

and turned Isabel's bedroom into a gallery of her paintings.

This is how she learns the core phase lessons of good/bad, right/wrong, true/false, work, family relationships, and responsibility.

Before the babies wake up we try to eat lunch. If we don't stop in time, Isabel makes a sandwich for herself. Then she runs outside to play on nice days or finds something to do inside. I read to myself whenever I'm nursing. During the twins second nap I do whatever I can from my to-do list in 90 minutes. Then I feed them again. By now it's 5pm and time to get dinner ready, pickup the house and get ready for Daddy to come home. Isabel helps with dinner and pick-up. We eat dinner at about 6 or 6:30. We all do the dishes together. At 7:30 or so, the twins eat again while I read the family novel-du-jour to Kelly and Isabel. Right now it's Charlotte's Web. Then Kelly tucks Isabel into bed. At about 8:30 or 9 we put the twins to bed and then it's our time to read, talk, do whatever. Last night we started reading "Carry on Mr. Bowditch" together. I love reading with Kelly.

And, that's what an ideal day looks like at our house. On a good week, 3 or 4 of our days looks like this. On a bad week maybe only 1 does. Having 10-15 ideal days in a month is success in my book.

How to be Inspired Instead of Overwhelmed

I wrote this essay for my bookclub meeting. We just read Walden by Thoreau.

Many of us are pursuing less-traveled roads. Once you start down one of these paths you quickly become aware of dozens of other unconventional approaches to life. Soon you are discovering 10-20 new ideas each week. The advocates for all these great ideas are passionate, knowledgeable and inspiring. You can start to feel like you’ve got to adopt every great new idea you learn about. But you can’t and you know it so you start to feel overwhelmed. You question your ability to live any of these great ideas and maybe you even chicken out and go back to the conventional life where you didn’t feel so much pressure and uncertainty.

Don’t let this be you! Learn how to evaluate all these ideas, say no to the ones you don’t need, maybe later to the ones you don’t need now and yes to things you really should be doing.

1. Be skeptical – As you evaluate any new idea remind yourself that just because your best friend thinks it’s wonderful or because you got excited when you first heard about it doesn’t mean it is something you should incorporate into your life. It is good to say no to most things. Statesmen who change to world don’t do everything – they do a few things really well.

2. Measure everything against your core book or core beliefs. If it doesn’t support and harmonize with your core book, it’s not for you.

3. If you are still interested in the idea, decide which category to put it in. I like to bucket ideas into three categories.

a. Maybe someday, but definitely not now – it’s helpful to make a physical list for these and keep it handy. Someday when you are feeling bored and uninspired you can look at this list and see if anything jumps out at you.

b. Explore in the next year – add this to your annual planning list and next time you sit down to plan you can begin to work this new idea into your plan following the guidelines in step 4.

c. Something so earth shattering and valuable I need to drop everything and get on this band wagon now – Proceed to step 4.

4. Start learning as much as you can about this new idea. Search out every book, lecture, seminar, or other resource that can teach you about this idea. Find and talk to real live people who are living it. You’ve get to learn about it in depth before you decide to let it change your life. If it’s a small idea you won’t need to go far with your research but if it is life changing you really need to go deep. Read and re-read the best sources of information you can find on the idea. Try to learn the main principles so well you could teach it to someone else. Marinate in the idea for a few months and even attempt to live it a little. If at any time in this process you learn that the idea does not support your core book or you decide it just isn’t right for you, abandon it. If you’ve made a mistake and this really should be part of your life, the idea will resurface when you are ready for it.

5. Once you’ve studied the idea deeply and decided it’s definitely for you, take it to your Higher Power. Pray, meditate or do whatever you do to get answers. Seek for confirmation that this life changing idea is something you should incorporate into your life. Don’t move forward until you get this confirmation. Once you get a confirmation, don’t look back. If you never get a confirmation pray for understanding and guidance – maybe this idea was just meant to open your eyes and prepare you for an even better idea.

6. If this big idea will affect your whole family, now is the time to take it to your spouse. Pray about how to do this most effectively. You know them best. You can predict how he/she will react to just about anything you do – run through a few scenarios in your mind before you decide how to best share this new idea. Read Esther’s story in the Bible for some inspiration. Remember to trust his/her judgment and respect his/her position in your family. Go to him/her with a true desire to work with them to evaluate the idea and decide if, how, and when to implement this with your family. This process may take a long time. If he/she asks challenging questions go find really good answers for them. Show him/her that you really value his/her opinion. Keep coming back to him/her until he/she has convinced you it’s not a good idea or you have convinced him/her it is a good idea. Be open to both options.

7. Make a plan with your spouse for how to implement the idea and go for it.